Photo by Keegan Houser on Unsplash
Mindfulness is much more than meditation. It’s at its best when it is brought into everyday life.
I recently spent a week at Plum Village, a Zen monastery situated in the French countryside near Bordeaux. Although I’m not religious and don’t consider myself particularly spiritual, I have been meditating on my own for years because I believe it contributes to my mental well-being. Since I had never attended a retreat before, I wanted to give it a try.
The experience didn’t disappoint.
I delved deeper into my meditation practice, which was my primary goal, but that wasn’t the main benefit. I also learned to incorporate mindfulness into every day, something I hadn’t practised before. As a result, I began to appreciate the little gems of joy that mere existence can offer us.
Let me explain myself better… but first, let’s talk about the monastery, Plum Village, and its founder, Thich Nhat Hanh.
Plum Village and Thich Nhat Hanh
Plum Village was founded by the Vietnamese Buddhist monk and activist Thich Nhat Hanh, whom everybody in the monastery lovingly calls Thay (“Teacher” in Vietnamese). He was exiled from Vietnam in 1966 because he opposed the war and didn’t want to align with either of the two sides fighting it. He went to the US, where he worked with Martin Luther King and other activists, and in 1982, he founded Plum Village in South-West France.
Since then, this Buddhist monastery has flourished, and Thay opened several other monasteries worldwide. Thich Nhat Hanh is credited with popularising mindfulness in the West and being a great proponent of Buddhist ideas outside their traditional context in Asia. He has written over 70 books on meditation, mindfulness, Buddhist teachings, managing emotions, peace, relationships, and many other topics.
Thay died in his native Vietnam in 2022, but his presence still looms large in Plum Village.
Plum Village currently has three separate hamlets, Upper, Lower, and New Hamlet, and another one, Middle Hamlet, is under construction. Some have only male monks and are for men and couples only, while others are run by the sisters and accept women visitors and couples only. All hamlets have dorms and offices, a dining hall, a meditation hall, and beautiful gardens. Fields and forests surround the entire village. The grounds also include the Happy Farm, where many vegetables and fruits consumed in those dining halls are produced.
The great Thay, Thich Nhat Hanh
Mindfulness in everyday activities
The retreat I attended was a general practice week, but they also organise themed retreats (e.g., farm harvest, climate retreat, deeper meditation, etc.). In the general practice retreat, we had sitting meditation first thing in the morning and last thing in the evening, and throughout the day, we had other activities, like dharma talks by the monks, service meditation (i.e. helping out in the kitchen or the farm, but doing it mindfully), or walking meditation in the forest. We also had a lot of downtime to rest, read, walk around or chat with other guests.
The entire setup is quite relaxed and calm. What captured my attention and became the biggest lesson for me was the emphasis on mindful practice in daily activities. I could say that I came for the meditation, and I stayed for the mindfulness.
Let me explain.
I went there to deepen my meditation practice. I thought that perhaps doing sitting meditation just twice a day wasn’t very much, but it was likely a good start for my first retreat. Everything at that retreat is geared towards being more mindful in everything you do, not just sitting meditation sessions.
Take eating, for example. Meals are primarily taken in silence, encouraging gratitude for the food on your plate, prompting you to eat slowly and savour every bite. Initially, this was a bit challenging for me, as I tend to gulp down food, but I quickly adapted and thoroughly enjoyed my mindful meals. Even when speaking was permitted, I preferred to eat in silence and at a leisurely pace. I had discovered a new joy in slow eating, and I didn’t want to give it up too easily.
The walking meditations were a remarkable discovery, too. I had practiced walking meditation once or twice by following directions from a guide in an app, but it hadn’t worked for me. At Plum Village, we would set off, a hundred people or more, slowly into the forest, being present and mindful of every breath and step. I would then listen to the birds singing and observe the trees rustling their branches as if they were alive, feeling an immediate joy of being alive and surrounded by other living beings, a sensation that is challenging to explain or replicate in any other setting.
And like this, with everything else. After a couple of days, even sitting outside in the sunshine, looking at the grass, was a joyful experience.
That’s what mindfulness does to you.
Breathing in, breathing out
Mindfulness is deceptively simple yet notoriously complex.
It is as simple as breathing in and out while being aware of it. Or being aware of what you hear or see in each moment. Or even noticing your bodily sensations—that cloud of sensations, the constant buzz and tingling reminding us that we have a body and that we are alive.
The only thing you need to do is avoid getting caught up in your thoughts. We tend to worry too much about what will happen in the future or regret what happened in the past. We spend too much time in our minds, thinking, planning, fantasising, daydreaming…
The only time and place where you truly live your life is the here and now, yet we spend most of our time elsewhere. Before we realise it, life has passed before us, and we spend most of it worrying, getting anxious, and stressing.
Don’t get me wrong—we need to think and plan. I love daydreaming and fantasising just as much as anyone else. However, we can minimise our time spent on that and dedicate it to being more present with what is happening here and now in front of us.
And that doesn’t mean staring at our phone screens, doomscrolling, watching silly videos, or reading the news. That’s the opposite of being mindful.
Breathing in and out sounds simple, and it is, but we complicate it. Why? Because we tend to drift into thinking- that’s our nature- and when we do, we feel guilty. “I’m not being mindful; I’m failing again.”
Our demanding selves are always lurking, chastising us when we fail to meet the required standards of quality. We have turned everything into a performance test. Mindfulness and meditation represent the opposite.
Your thoughts will come to you. That’s normal and happens to even the best meditators. When it does, you should recognise that you have been thinking or daydreaming for who knows how long and return to your breath.
Be more compassionate with yourself. Forgive yourself for not being 100% perfect in your meditation. Forgive yourself for not being 100% perfect in anything you do. It’s called being imperfectly human.
The Challenge: bringing mindfulness to everyday life
The week at the monastery was incredible. I never expected to experience so many moments of calm joy rising from within. It was a remarkable discovery.
The challenge is how to bring all these learnings and mindfulness into everyday life. This is the Challenge, in capital letters, because it’s not easy.
Living mindfully seems easy enough, but it’s anything but. I intended to incorporate more mindful moments into my daily life, but after just a few weeks, I find it quite challenging.
I occasionally eat slowly and mindfully, but more often than not, I slip back into my old habit of devouring the food in front of me without paying much attention to it.
I have work meetings, work-related and study-related deadlines, things I need to do at home, worries, moments of anger… It is difficult to remain mindful and equanimous when life goes on and you are not in a calm oasis surrounded by forests with little else to do than meditate and walk around.
But life is meant to be lived, not evaded, so I want to find a way to integrate mindfulness practice into my life. I am doing some things well, and the rest is a work in progress.
I meditate twice a day, in the morning and in the evening, and I am maintaining this habit quite well. I actually enjoy it; it’s not an obligation but something I love doing. I try not to multitask or listen to podcasts while I’m engaged in other activities; instead, I focus on what I’m doing, whether it’s walking, cooking, or working out. Often, I find myself drifting, but I frequently catch myself enjoying the present moment.
All is not lost.
I realised that the most important lesson I learned is not to make it all about performing well. Living mindfully is not a competition. I am not trying to impress anyone or be perfect. Sometimes I manage to do it well; other times, not so much, but that’s fine- it’s a journey, and I’m still learning and improving.
I recently celebrated my 46th birthday, and as I reflected on my age and life thus far, I realised I was happier than ever. There are many reasons for this- my partner, family, friends, and my passion for what I do being the main ones- but mindfulness and meditation also play a significant role. They contribute a lot as well.
Mindfulness makes me happier, more joyful, compassionate, and grateful for being alive, so I hope to practice it more as I get older. I need to start planning my next visit to Plum Village…
